Are you struggling with self-judgment or judgment of your partner or children?
Does this judgment prevent you from enjoying and co-creating with them?
Do you find yourself getting heated and frustrated with your kids or partner, even over small things that, in hindsight, aren't a big deal?
If so, you're not alone.
In this series of articles, I will show you powerful ways to recognize how we all live in our own "virtual reality" and provide practical tools to end conflicts and avoid damaging your kids' self-esteem and motivation.
But before we dive into that, let me ask you:
Do you want to learn more about the secrets of your deep mind and how to program it to create your dream life? If so, subscribe to our newsletter and stay tuned for all the knowledge I'll be sharing about mastering the mind.
Reactivity, self-judgment, and judgment of others, especially our loved ones, are common experiences. We all live in our own virtual reality where we perceive the world through our own unique lenses. It's like wearing virtual reality goggles all the time, and unfortunately, we can't take them off. However, what we can do is reprogram those goggles to change how we see, hear, and feel, which can ultimately change how we react.
In this first article of the series, I will begin to reveal simple and effective ways to understand how our virtual reality goggles work and how to start reprogramming them. By doing so, we can experience our family members as they truly are, rather than our virtual projections of them. I will also share insights on understanding other people's goggles and how to work with them, so that others can experience the real you, not their virtual projection of you.
This knowledge has the potential to make a huge difference in your life and in how your loved ones experience you. It has transformed my life, and I believe it can transform yours too if you put it into practice.
This article is just the beginning, as I will delve deeper into how we perceive the world and how to transform it in future articles. If you have any questions or need clarification, feel free to leave them in the comments, and I'll do my best to support you.
Have you ever experienced a situation where you ask your kids to clean up and they respond with moaning and whining? Or perhaps they pretend not to hear you? In those moments, it can feel like they are being disrespectful or selfish, and it's easy to get heated and frustrated. But what if I told you that there's a different way to understand these situations?
Before we can dive into how to shift our virtual reality goggles to reality glasses, we need to understand how our minds are programmed to create that virtual reality in the first place. This understanding comes from the work of neuroscientists and psychologists over the past 50 years, and I want to present it in a simple and practical way that you can use to change your life.
One of the key concepts in this understanding is what psychologists call "representational systems." These systems are our senses - sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste - as well as the self-talk that we hear in our heads. They are how we experience and interpret our reality. Our senses give us what psychologists refer to as "first-order" reality, which is our direct sense experiences of what has actually happened in the world. The interpretations and meanings we give to those experiences are what psychologists call "second-order" reality.
Now, let's take a typical conflict between family members as an example. You walk into a room and say something important to your child or partner, but they don't respond or seem to be paying attention. You might interpret this as them not hearing you or not respecting you. However, the reality might be different.
When someone is focused on something else, even daydreaming, their unconscious mind may not send a signal to their conscious mind to pay attention. Our unconscious mind processes information much faster than our conscious mind, and it only brings something to our conscious awareness when it deems it important. So, even though the sounds of your words may have reached their ears, their mind may not have relayed the message to their conscious awareness.
Instead of feeling offended or lashing out in anger when someone doesn't hear you, it's important to give them some grace and understanding. Their brain may not have consciously registered your message because their attention was focused elsewhere. It's not a conscious choice to ignore you, but rather a result of how our neurobiology works.
By recognizing this, you can shift your focus from feeling disrespected to fostering connection. Instead of assuming that they heard and understood you, take a moment to be curious about what they were focused on. By doing so, you may learn something important about them and deepen your understanding of their perspective.
If you've made it this far, you're the type of person who is willing to dig in and learn how to transform yourself and your relationships. In the upcoming articles, I will explain how our minds process information from our senses and make decisions about what is important to become aware of. Once we understand this process, we can decode our virtual reality goggles and reprogram them to improve our communication and connection with our loved ones.
Remember to check out the related videos from Mercury Coach on children's need for connection and other core needs. If you found this article useful and want more great content, please give us a like and subscribe to our channel and mailing list.
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