Last week, I shared three key things that lead to amazing outcomes for you and your kids:
- Love your life.
- Understand the core needs for psychological well-being.
- Master your mind.
In this article, we'll dive deeper into LOVING your life–Why it matters, what it means, and how to get there.
YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE AFFECTS YOUR CHILD'S EMOTIONAL STATE
The first thing to understand is that the number one determinant of your happiness and well-being is your EMOTIONAL STATE.
Your emotional state, which is governed by your unconscious mind, is also the key driver of your behaviors. It's like the silent conductor of your life's orchestra, subtly influencing every note that's played.
More importantly, your inner state is constantly projecting energy for which other people's nervous systems act as an antenna.
Your actions, reactions, expressions, and words are all signals that other people are consciously and unconsciously picking up. They're tuning into your frequency and responding accordingly.
In fact, people's experience of you has very little to do with what you say and much more with the energy you project. That's why only 7% of communication is with words.
This is especially true for children who, in their most formative years, do not yet have the ability to distinguish between your energy and their own.
When you are feeling stressed, anxious, frustrated, or dissatisfied, they are most likely experiencing those emotions too.
Your emotional state is a lighthouse for your child. Its beacon can guide them towards feelings of empowerment, confidence, freedom, and happiness.
And–if you want your kids to feel empowered, confident, free, and happy, the fastest and easiest way is through YOU.
Prioritize getting yourself into the same state you would wish for your children, and they will not only share those feelings in the moment, but they will also develop the ability to feel that way on their own.
YOU ARE SETTING YOUR CHILD'S BASELINE FOR HAPPINESS
The second thing you've got to know is this: your child is like a sponge, always learning. They're taking in everything they can through their senses, soaking up everything about the world around them. And as they grow, they're figuring out how to navigate life mainly by watching the folks around them - and that means you, more than anyone else.
Your child will learn more about how to live life from watching you than anything you tell them, anything you try to teach them, any school you choose to send them, or any enrichment you ever put them in.
When you are unhappy or sacrificing your own well-being out of 'duty' or fear, your child learns how to do that too, and they feel it, even when you put on your game face.
When you consider where to put your time, money, and attention, even if it goes against societal norms, understand that prioritizing your own happiness and well-being directly impacts your child’s well-being. Knowing this, if it still seems difficult to do, it’s time to look deeper into your own beliefs about self-worth, safety, and identity. We will talk a lot about this in future videos so subscribe to our channel and our newsletter to learn more.
DO YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE?
The third thing to know when we talk about loving your life is that it’s not just about feeling good or having things go your way.
It’s about more than that.
It’s about feeling connected with your desires, knowing and liking who you are, experiencing life with all of your senses, expressing yourself fully, and pursuing the things that bring you joy and meaning.
As a quick check, ask yourself:
Does your life energize or drain you?
Are you happy in every major area of your life?
Do you know what you want?
Are you doing the things you long for? Are you pursuing your dreams and desires?
Do you easily prioritize your needs and preferences over those of others?
Do you have fun with your partner and kids?
Do you love how you spend your time?
If you answered YES to most of these, congratulations because that rarely happens by accident.
On the other hand, If you struggled to answer ‘YES’ to any or all of these questions, you are not alone.
Turning this around is more than I can cover in one video , but in broad strokes, it comes down to a few key things:
DO WHAT BRINGS YOU ENERGY. STOP WHAT DOESN'T.
Is what you are doing adding to your energy or draining it? If it's exhausting, find a way to stop doing it or adjust the aspects of it that are draining you.
I realize that sometimes the things draining us the most are the hardest to let go of, but remember, the most worthwhile journeys often start with the most difficult steps.
Begin with the low-hanging fruit. Cut out any of the things you can right away, no matter how small. Even the smallest changes can ripple out into surprising transformations.
USE WHAT ATTRACTS YOU AS A COMPASS
Often, we are so consumed by our duties and responsibilities that we forget to make room for joy, pleasure, and personal growth.
What you are attracted to, what you secretly desire, and what you WANT hold the seeds of your true self, a life of meaning and purpose.
If it inspires a feeling of joy, love, or play, pay attention and start feeding those desires, not denying them!
When you pursue what interests you, energizes you, and excites you, it not only adds to your energy and joy but also makes it easier to do things you don't love as much right now.
Unfortunately, many of us are raised to do exactly the opposite, and doing what we love can inspire feelings of guilt and shame. We're taught to push our dreams aside in favor of practicality.
But what if what we desire is actually the most practical guide we have?
What if following our joy can lead us to a place of fulfillment and balance we didn't even know was possible?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Leave a comment below sharing your personal experiences or the steps you're taking towards loving your life more.
Next week, Ryan will share what it means to master your mind in a three-part series you won’t want to miss.
And if you are ready to make changes and START loving your life, check out my upcoming program The JoyAlchemy Time Machine. It was a life changer for me and I can’t wait to share it with you.
Thanks for reading, and remember the journey towards loving your life begins with a single, purposeful step.
This is an update to the first version of this article published originally on SFBAM website.
Comments